does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
