The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
