I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
you inspire me to be a worse person
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
