That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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