i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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