I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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