Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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