He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
