speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
