a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
