Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize