Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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