stop calling my apartment porn island.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
