Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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