I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
