I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
