what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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