playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.