im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.