Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I want to be your penis for a week.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
