I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
