My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
