You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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