You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
