The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
even my farts smell like vagina
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
