So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
