Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
