fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
