i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
