she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
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He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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