he puts the penis in happiness.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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