plz talk dirty to me
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
This baby is an asshole
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
