i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
