..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
