i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
