i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
