Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
