i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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