Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
