Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
