So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Girls should come with a carfax report
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
