and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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