Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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