I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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