i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize