i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
