I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
