ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
