this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize