I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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