Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize