The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
