You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize