i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
