whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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