don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
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I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
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Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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