So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
