So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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