we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
